We are wired for connection, so the prospect of a relationship ending can be really frightening. This makes relationship problems extremely triggering, which leads to analysis paralysis. The process of couple therapy, often known as relationship therapy, can help. However, it can be rather demanding, just as choosing a therapist and entering the office can be challenging.

Perhaps your partner has recommended couples counseling, but you’re unsure of how it works. Some people may have preconceived ideas about what to expect from couples therapy. Below, we debunk those myths to help you get the best out of couples counseling from Relationshipsandmore.com in Westchester, NY.

A stranger cannot salvage my relationship

The idea that an outsider cannot assist a relationship is one of the myths surrounding marriage counseling. Therapists may not seem fully committed to your relationship to provide sound counsel. However, in reality, this is a great thing.

Suppose you ask your loved ones for guidance. They may have something to gain or lose, depending on what they say. In contrast, a therapist has no stake in the success or failure of your relationship. They are able to view your connection objectively and with credibility.

All I want is for a therapist to support me and urge my partner to change

That would be nice, wouldn’t it? Regretfully, your therapist is not your attorney. Rather, they are here to represent the partnership, not just one person. The goal of your relationship therapy will be to increase each partner’s awareness of their involvement in both beneficial and troublesome patterns.

Relationship therapy can provide a better comprehension of how you both contribute to problematic habits. This is necessary so that you can try something different. After all, it takes two to tango.

Therapy is time-consuming

Although some people do stay in treatment for a long time, couples therapy usually lasts less time. In most couples therapy, the couple learns how to strengthen and develop their relationship. After mastering these techniques and resolving significant problems, a couple can continue improving their relationship outside of treatment.

The typical duration of couples therapy is six to twelve sessions. However, this may obviously vary depending on why you are seeking couples therapy. After therapy ends, either partner may wish to go to their individual sessions. Your therapist may recommend a follow-up appointment after a while. But usually, therapy is not time-consuming.

Therapy-seekers are weak

This belief appears to be especially common in this era. This is mostly because of the custom of people having to “go it alone” in the past. However, the goal of couples therapy is transformation and growth, which can be challenging and painful.

In fact, participating in therapy requires courage. It is brave of you (and your partner) to embark on this path of self-awareness and development. Furthermore, such a suggestion is not for the weak or the faint of heart.

Every therapist is the same, and this isn’t going to work

Have all the doctors you’ve seen been the same?  What about all the eateries, lodging facilities, and resorts? Not at all. Each of us is a unique individual with a variety of life experiences. There will be differences in the styles of different therapists.

Some therapists provide more psychoeducation, while others emphasize behavioral improvement techniques or life skills. Select a therapist who employs the theories and techniques most appropriate for your learning style.

Beginning relationship therapy is a sign that a breakup is likely to occur

Let’s rephrase this: It shows courage and adaptability to ask for assistance when things get tough. While the events themselves are significant, how they occur is far more significant. How you handle challenging conversations can determine whether a separation ends pleasantly or in flames.

It also determines whether there is a pattern of connected closeness and silent bitterness. Finding a solution that enables everyone to have genuine, connected, and satisfying lives is key to success in relationship therapy. That can entail reuniting with a stronger bond and dedication. It could also entail acknowledging that the partnership must change or end.

The therapist will point out all of my shortcomings

A therapist will only offer to help or comment on topics you voluntarily disclose. They won’t be searching for your shortcomings, though. They will be examining your nonverbal and spoken cues to bolster whatever information you provide. All they’ll be looking for is methods to support you while you work through your issues.

All we need is a strategy to improve our communication

You already had the tools, but for whatever reason, you felt compelled to dismiss or ignore them. Throughout your life, your body and emotions are directing you, warning you of discomfort, pleasure, pain, and desire.

You can control your reaction to stressful events by tuning into these nervous system interactions. Relationship therapy will teach you to read your spouse or partner more carefully. It will help you learn how to approach them, when and how to comfort or validate them. This is so that you both stay connected rather than running for cover.

Therapy is about placing blame and fault

Assigning blame and responsibility is not the purpose of couples counseling. Doing so would trigger and maintain unpleasant feelings rather than promote positive ones, which is one of the goals of therapy. Therapists are educated to be impartial in whatever conversations you may have with them. They are more concerned with helping each partner understand their roles in a relationship than they are with identifying and blaming either party.

Couples therapy is only suitable for extreme issues

This is not true. In fact, couples counseling yields the best results when you and your spouse or partners are on the same page. You may be putting protection above connection if your relationship is in trouble. This does not imply that therapy is ineffective. Rather, it may require more time to establish safety, discuss parameters, and defuse tension.

You may take advantage of your comfort level if you and your spouse are currently in a mutual position. Through therapy, you can forge a stronger bond that will support you through the challenges that lie ahead.

Final thoughts

Seeking couples counseling is advisable whenever you feel like your relationship may use professional help.